Monday, December 28, 2009

What do your techniques say about you?

Self Actualization

Bruce Lee understood self actualization and the martial arts very well. He spoke of it often. To him, the actualization of ones inner person was the purpose of martial arts training. It puts the “art” in martial art. As an actor, I suspect Bruce was very comfortable ignoring who he was on the inside to portray the character he needed to on the outside. Thus it makes perfect sense to me that his challenge was to use his martial art to express who he actually was as a person... to “express himself honestly”, as he would say.

For better or worse the way we perform our techniques is always an actualization of ourselves. Those with sloppy, lazy technique tend to lead sloppy, lazy lives. Those who can not relax and too rigidly perform their actions are likely spending too much time in a state of “stress” and “overwhelmed.” Those too timid and shy in life may perform their techniques with out snap or spirited yelling.

Listen to what your techniques say about who you are. Begin to let them speak for the person you wish to become. Balanced, focused, driven, powerful, confident, secure.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Good parenting is simple, but difficult.

Raising a child is both the most rewarding and most difficult thing you will do in your life. Read this story to find the secret that experts feel is the most important thing you can do to raise great kids!

"A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: Daddy, may I ask you a question?
DAD: Yeah sure, what it is? replied the man.
SON: Daddy, how much do you make an hour?
DAD: That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing? the man said angrily.
SON: I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?
DAD: If you must know, I make $50 an hour.
SON: Oh, the little boy replied, with his head down.
SON: Daddy, may I please borrow $25?

The father was furious, If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don’t work hard everyday for such childish frivolities. The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money.

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25, he really didn’t ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.

Are you asleep, son? he asked. No daddy, I’m awake, replied the boy. I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier, said the man. It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the $25 you asked for. The little boy sat straight up, smiling. Oh, thank you daddy! he yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money and started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father. Why do you want more money if you already have some? the father grumbled.

Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do, the little boy replied. Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow, I would like to have dinner with you.

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. It’s just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love?"

Educators and child development experts all know that spending quality time with your child ranks at the top of things you can do to raise a happy and successful child. Have you spent some quality time with your child lately? If not here are two suggestions:

1.) Have regular daily family time (remember when families used to eat dinner together),

2.) Schedule a weekly “date” with your child.

*Thanks to Sensei Sam Larioza from Ohana Karate in Fowlerville for reminding me of this story.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

An Excerpt from Master Vigil's (soon to be published) Book

The Genesis of Martial Arts

Since the first fur-clad, foul smelling, thick-skulled human picked up a big stick and whacked a bear, we have been working on combat. I can see it so clearly:

Caveman 1:“Ugh, how not die to bear?”
Caveman 2: “Me hit with big stick!”
Caveman 1: “Show Caveman 2!”
Caveman 2: “Yuh!”

As Caveman 2 swings his stick in demonstration, the first martial arts form is born.

Every lasting people has had to systematize the study of combat. This is where the “martial” in martial arts originates. Dictionary.com gives us the meaning of martial as “inclined or disposed to war; warlike”. If we called it “martial study” instead of “martial art” it would be much easier to trace the lineage of the first martial artists. But the addition of the word “art” after “martial” makes things complicated. Dictionary.com gives us the definition of “art” as “the quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance”. Every culture has had to systematize combat to survive, but no culture has had to systematize art. Who were the first people to establish this link and system? Perhaps more importantly, why did they do it?

Historians have credited everyone from ancient Korean peninsula warriors, to Native Americans as being the first to link warriorhood with art. One such story claims that a Buddhist temple was constantly under assault from bandits. The monks of this temple began to incorporate punching, kicking, blocking and movement into their meditation in order to be able to better defend their temple. They did it not with the intention of creating martial art, but rather as a way to remain peaceful in the heart while being violent with the body. A visiting monk from China witnessed their practice, thought highly of it, and brought it back to his temple. Such, as the story goes, is the birth of Kung-Fu, which many consider to be the oldest martial art in practice.

What is important to understand about the birth of martial arts is not the who, what, when and where – but rather the why. Picture this: The year is 551 A.D, and you are a new recruit in the military of the Silla dynasty of what will eventually become Korea. You are one of the legendary Hwarang warriors, though you are yet untested in real combat. You stand in your armor, grip your spear, and fill the ranks of the front line, but you are not a warrior yet.

You were born a farmer, the loving son of a doting father and mother. In your youth you were known as a compassionate, friendly young person. Perhaps you enjoyed simple, peaceful hobbies like fishing and calligraphy. The Silla dynasty was introduced to the peaceful ways of Buddhism in the 300s, and adopted them fully in 527, so it is likely that you are a Buddhist.

Now you stand on a mountain side overlooking the city of Seoul. Without the benefit of hindsight, you are unaware that capturing this city is a pivotal moment in the history of your country. You are a member of it's most famous warrior culture, it's proudest dynasty, and on the eve of capturing the capital city that will endure even until the 21st century.

As you and your fellow Hwarang swarm the city you experience bloodshed like you have never thought possible. You are cut several times, though your life is never threatened. You see skulls crushed, limbs torn from their bodies, and hear the screams of men dying in anguish. For you this is not an isolated occurrence, it will become a regular part of your life.

You are faced with two choices – lose the person you were in youth, and become a cursing, aggressive, angry marauder, or find a path to inner peace despite your external circumstance. If you choose the former you become just more battlefield fodder, choose the latter and you become a martial artist.

If you are reading this book, I suspect you would join me in the ranks of the martial artists. The unifying trait of all martial artists is combat. Without combat there is nowhere to begin, no cause to develop the mental and spiritual strengths under discussion in this book. The challenge for the martial artist of today's world is find where his “battle” is. For instance, Japanese businesspeople of the 1980s read Sun Tzu's Art of War as though it were a religious text, and a manual for corporate management – and treated the boardroom like the battlefield.

The true origin of martial arts is impossible to identify, but to my mind it was the first time a warrior tried to make sense of war. He found a way to not lose himself to the blood and gore, but also to return to peace a stronger and more balanced person for having been at war. He found a way to pass on his physical combat skills, and in so doing the mental strength associated with the ability to apply them. The origin of martial arts is the first time a warrior took the things that were “inclined or disposed to war; warlike” and turned them into “the quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance”.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Doers and Critics

Keith Hafner is a veteran martial arts teacher, a controversial personality, author of "Rock Solid Kids", and my good friend. He has always been a source of great wisdom. Always knowing just what to say, and how to say it, Keith has a beautiful way with plain English.

This is one of my favorite things ever written by Mr. Hafner:

"Criticism has its own agenda." That's what I wrote at the beginning of the week on our school chalkboard.

Immunity to criticism is one of the key building blocks in a successful person's life.

Too often, when a person tries to make positive changes in their life...they are shot down by neighbors, co-workers, or relatives.

Here is what you need to know: there are two types of people in the world...

Doers and Critics.

Most people are one or the other. Rarely does a person have "dual membership" in these groups.

Why? Because critics criticize instead of doing anything constructive in their own lives. Being critical of others serves as a substitute (a very poor one) for positive, constructive action.

And -- Doers are seldom critics. They are too busy focusing on their own goals!

If you are a Doer...NEVER, ever worry about what the Critics are saying! Their vote, their opinion of what you are doing, simply doesn't count!

I'm reminded of this quote by Theodore Roosevelt...

"It's not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or when the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worth cause; who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at the worst if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat."